I have an urge that takes a firm grip on me when it strikes.
Every now and then I can’t help but browse the current status of human fallibility and foibles by typing the word “accidentally” into Google News. The search trawls stupidity and an insane amount of gun violence but almost always turns up something wonderful.
Five stories in you’ll be absolutely devastated and heart-sick of people who try to justify keeping a weapon lying about with kids around. A toddler shoots his mother, a toddler shoots his baby brother, a toddler shot his friend. Please just stop arming toddlers.
Then there are the series of criminals who make the paper by turning the gun on themselves as they try to break into houses, or rob stores or eat pizza. As you do.
If that was all there was to see I would just end up in a foetal position in the wardrobe crying, but there is always much more heartening stuff. Like people with butter fingers when it comes to technology.
Yes, I almost always do that when I am cutting and pasting links to porn … Oh, cutting and pasting links to websites? No, not as often I hope.
Okay, I have nearly tweeted a search for “Ottawa Hiring” or “James Blunt” but I don’t send pictures to anyone. And no, I have no idea why it is always the Daily Mail. And why are they so skeptical of her ‘boyfriend in Utah’? Does Utah not have boyfriends?
And then there is the beautiful synchronicity of happenstance. Or irony or whatever. Stuff like this just makes me delight in humanity.
Training exercise in Sydney harbour accidentally sparks real bomb scare
The first sentence is my favourite:
“A bomb scare on a ferry in Sydney was sparked by a badly organised terrorism training exercise, Australian officials have confirmed.”
See? Delightful.
I’m sure it was not at all delightful if you were hoping to get over the Sydney Harbour Bridge in that two-hour period where it was shut down because the suspicious package that management brought it to help staff identify a suspicious package was identified as a suspicious package or as they called it a “training device, which was not recognized as a typical training device by staff”.
Imagine them not recognizing two bottles full of wires and nails as a “training device”?
Christ I love that story.
And continuing in the files of officiousness-caused-chaos hundreds of fish fell prey to the elements after a gate that was supposed to be kept shut was opened during a council inspection. The carp and roach were sluiced out onto a mud flat where they flapped about in the throes of death while staff and passers by desperately waded in to rescue 500 of them.
Hundreds of fish dead after bungling council workers accidentally released them from lake
When a worker does something like that they get called bungling. Bungling is also a very worthy word to type into a Google news search.
Bungling dentist removes all of woman’s upper teeth by mistake
Whoopsie.
But my favourite “accidentally” story today is based on that old adage about how you should never ever yell “Tasty panties” at your mum. What? There’s no old adage that says that? There really ought to be.
Men Catcall Their Mothers Accidentally In Everlast’s Amazing Video About Street Harassment
Boxing supplier Everlast got a tough-bird-in-a-tracksuit to narrate as the mothers of serial street harassers were given a “mini-makeover” to lift and separate them from dowdy mum-ness.
Godspeed to Julio as he deals with the fall-out of calling his mum a “piggy”.
oonawoods 
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